Stories from the Battlefield

Leading from the Back

battletroll22 — Mon, 28 Aug 2006 00:53:24 +0000

Since last week’s controversy about the leaked satellite images, Staff Sgt. aikideshi has been promoted to the rank of Gunnery Sergant. This promotion we are told did not come about as a result of aikideshi’s brave tryst with Sgt HairButt, but infact his dedication to nailing the enemys ass to the wall. Quite literally !

As our soldier cam reveals this week, Gunnery Sergant aikideshi has been targeting exactly that – ‘the enemy’s ass’. True to the clan the fear of RAPDby is literally been driven to the enemy.

As usual, Gunnery Sergant xxxbattle founder of the clan, questioned the validity and motive behind such drive and determination on part of Gunnery Sgt. aikideshi. In a statement to RNN he said “Can someone see anything wrong with this pictures…and you thought that skinny dipping was bad enough…why is the crosshair of the gun always pointing on their ass?”. He further went on the commend aikideshi in his statement “Aiki has even gone to the extreme and concreted his fellow BF2 soldiers for easier RAPDby.”
Quick to clear his name of any wrong doing and reassert his commitment to the cause, aikideshi released a brief statement saying, “The ass is the largest muscle in the human body. Nice target. “

Some RAPDby clan members not convinced this was the purpose of the clan spoke out in response to that. Salesguy069 broke his silence and remarked “For what??????? “. Gunny Sgt. xxxbattle was quick to settle clan members this time, however it remains to be seen what aikideshi has planned next.

This exclusive report was brought to you by RAPDby News Network.

Under the Scope

battletroll22 — Fri, 25 Aug 2006 02:50:02 +0000

There has been unprecedented response from all corners of the world to our previous story on the leaked satellite images. African warlords and MEC veterans have expressed their thoughts on this sensitive topic. Even the French Legion has dived into this controversy.

Other war hardened veterans with walnuts for a brain have only just figured out why the can is call RAPDby. RNN has approached Gunnery Sergant xxxbattle for his comments on the clans identity, however we dont have any response yet.

“aikiDESHI under the scope”

Yet to be confirmed reports have in the meantime indicated that Staff Sergant aikideshi has been commended with the ‘Good Conduct Ribbon’. If true, this could mean a quantam shift in Battlefield tactics for aikideshi from teamkilling to actually putting metal in the enemy.-RAPDby News Network

Skinny Dipping in the Line of Duty

battletroll22 — Fri, 25 Aug 2006 02:10:15 +0000

In disturbing news, more accusations that the army is upto no good. Leaked top secret satellite images show Staff Sergant Aikideshi swimming in Karkand harbour with Sergant HairButt. In light of these disturbing images, Gunnery Sergant xxxbattle issued a press release on behalf of the RAPDby clan. In his statement, his astonisment was evident

“Whats going on here ? Aiki skinny dipping with HairButt on a nice deserted beach?”

In a turn of events Staff Sergant Aikideshi responded to this statement claiming innocence while acknowledging having fun in the line of duty. Here is what he had to say.

“Yeah, we were quietly enjoying a cap flag in our birthday suits but some rude commander interrupted our cavorting session. Sigh. Didn’t get that flag, which I was hoping to use as a towel to dry myself off after my intimate sessions with butthair.”

It remains to be seen if a court martial will be initiated for such behaviour. Our sources indicate that SSgt. xxxbattle might take up the issue with his counterparts in the TOG clan.

As we have more on this we will keep you updated.

RAPDby News Network, Karkand (Iraq)

Ungoybata upside down

battletroll22 — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 14:30:27 +0000

Rare, but even the best get toppled ! Ungoybata seen here flipping over.

and the squad in action

Screenshots courtsey salesguy069.

Mayhem at Kubra Dam

battletroll22 — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 14:18:30 +0000

Lots and lots of action at Kubra Dam tonight. 4 clan members joined the action, the bravest of all ofcourse aikiDESHI chose to be the other side and this is what happened ! Everyone got a piece of him … salesguy069, ungoybata and battletroll22.

Not being able to keep his feet on the ground the brave aikideshi took to the skys first with a copilot and then solo and he had his newly found wigs clipped ! End result 35 deaths 7 kills. RIP aikideshi.

Commanding and Driving

battletroll22 — Thu, 10 Aug 2006 06:26:16 +0000

Proof you can put a bullet through glass. This screenshot was taken by aikiDESHI while commanding and driving.

The lesson, if you’re commanding dont drive unless essential. If you’re commanding and driving, they’ll mutiny against you and if they cant get you that way. They’ll shoot you through the glass.

aikiDESHI Fall of Fame

battletroll22 — Fri, 28 Jul 2006 02:00:47 +0000

Finally theres a Hall of Fame for the soldier who isnt afraid of getting wet !

If you look at this gallery you’ll figure out why he’s so popular with the Battlefield 2 crowd. Loves getting wet. 2nd screenshot jumped off the carrier without knowing how to open a parachute !

Make sure you leave some comments to encourage our hero.

See aikiDESHI at BF2s.com.